July 24 2011, I just went back to my hostel from a first aid test which was organized by Perlis branch of Malaysian Red Crescent Society at Jejawi. After the whole day of making such a tired practical routine of CPR and so on, I was fall asleep for about 2 hours. Because of that I did not login to my facebook account which is has become my hobby since my mother bought me a black, shining laptop. When I woke up from my sleep I went to my friends room and looked what had they done in the time that I was sleeping. Are they doing their assignment? Are they studying? Or doing something else? The only thing that I saw they were doing was facebooking. Facebook has become the phenomenon for the entire world especially for the teenagers. Actually I am not going to story about the facebook but what I am going to share is connected to facebook.
I am a teenager which is normal for me to have a boyfriend. I do have a boyfriend. He is also a student just like me but he is not on the same batch with me. He is my senior. I was very happy to be with him. Every time when I spend my time with him I never feel enough. I always want more. He has become the most special person in my life. He always there for me when I sad, when I cry and when I need somebody to talk to. He once told me that he will never leave me and if he did so I can kill the girl that makes he leave me. What the ridiculous statement. I think I just should kill him not the girl right? I love him so much. Yes I do. Until now the only name which is keep playing in my mind is his name.
Not everything that we wish will become true isn’t it? On that night, when I entered my friends room, one of my friend, Nana, asked me about a post which is posted by him on facebook. In that post he wrote that it is better if we become friend. When I read about that post I was extremely shocked. If he really wants to dump me why he did not asked directly from me? Why he need to post it on facebook? I was so embarrassed at that time. I feel like he wants to tell the world that he already dumped me and he is proud to do so. I want to call him but my phone was out of credit. I want to login my facebook but my laptop was formatted and I still cannot browse the internet due to the incomplete installation. At that time I feel so damn alone. Then, I borrowed a laptop from my friend and login my facebook and hoping that he was also online.
I was lucky because he was online and I send a message for him. I told him that there was no need to do such thing like that. I was embarrassed and I feel like I do not want to go to class. Of course all of my coursemates are already read about the post and the only think he did was asking for an apology to me. He said that he cannot continue our relationship. It is not because he does not love me but he has some kind of family problem and need to settle it first. He was afraid that he cannot give me his full attention and I will feel uncomfortable with him then he let me go to find my happiness. He also said that he does not want to treat me like bird which was been coop in a cage and failed to find the happiness. He wants me to fly in the blue sky and never look down anymore. Did you think I can forget him in such a simple way? Frankly speaking, It was not easy.
I learned something before. Hating is not the best way to forget. So, I have made my decision to accept his choice and I have to respect it as well. The only thing that I said to him is I will let him go and I hope that we still can be friend. I hope he will never take me as his enemy because it will make me harder to forget him. A day before I went back to my hometown we were eating together at Kangar. I was so sad at that time. I was looking at his face and keep telling my heart that he is no longer mine. I feel like my heart is crying inside but I did not show that I was sad in front of him.
After we had our dinner, we sat on a bench and did some discussion about what we have been through together. At that time I was crying. I cannot prevent my tears from keep rolling down on my cheeks. He told me about what was actually happened in his family and why he took this decision. I saw he was crying as well. He wiped my tears and hold on my hand. We stand up and start to walk. He kissed my hand and said “I am sorry because this is all just a prank for you!” I was really shocked and I do not know what to do. I feel like somebody was holding my tongue and I cannot say even a word. There is no word in this world that I can use to express my feeling at that time. All the feeling was mix together and it feel so bad. I was prank by my boyfriend and the worst is it is about our relationship. I feel like I want to chew him at that time. What a bad of him.
I will never forget what had he done to me. I was mad at him but deep in my heart I was happy at the same time because officially we are still together. All of my friends were already thought that we were broke up. I promised to him that this prank story will be a secret between us until I wrote this essay. I asked him the reason he was crying as well and he said that all the family problems is not a prank. It is all true. He just prank me about the broken of our relationship not the problem. That was why he was crying as well. He said sorry again because doing all this thing to me. He told me that he love to see me angry because I will look like angry bird. And my mind full of question marks.
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